Ready to run away??

running-away

Sounds like a good option sometimes. Especially when things are coming at you faster than you can duck.  You just want it to stop, to go away, to disappear.  And that’s what I want.. I want all this shit to go away.  But it won’t. …and I won’t either.

As hard as things are right now, and they are pretty freaking sucky, I don’t want to run away. I want to stand and face the fire. Because there is no one else to do this.  This mountain of bullshit that is right in front of me is not going away. I’m going to have to shovel that shit.  Yes, the whole fabulous mountain of it.  And know what?  I’m gonna.

This thing is not going away.  If I want it to disappear, I’m going to have to do the work.  And I want to do the work! Because I can’t leave it like it is, and there is no one else.  And someone has to do it. And I know that I can.  I want to see what it looks like without the mountain.

Mountain-Free. It’s what I’m gonna be.

Cheers.
Here’s to mountains, surmountable and otherwise.
Here’s to peace, found on the other side.

I’m not running away…

There are people who need me…  <3 and I love them…

CUT! Retake! This time act like you mean it!

postcard_all_the_worlds_a_stage_shakespeare

It’s hard to be your best in a spontaneous moment.  We aren’t always thinking about our performance on life’s stage. We are thinking of survival in the moment.  We do not think of how others may feel. We think of our immediate motivation.

Recently I have been watching a drama unfold, and mentally screaming “NOOOOOOOO!!!” ..to no avail.  The hits just keep coming.  It’s similar to how we “lost” poor Jon Snow at the end of Season 5.  Alas, he’s but a character in a book, and of course on HBO.  But these “actors” I’m referring to on life’s stage are facing inevitable conclusions, set in motion by their own hands.  Like being on a train headed for a section where the track has been removed. The train WILL derail when it gets there.  I think I would have had to exit prior to then if given the opportunity.

We always have the opportunity to make changes, but the opportunity must be seized.  OPPORTUNITY DOESN’T KEEP KNOCKING!  We may be players on a world stage, but we are designing many of the scenes years in advance.  If you don’t like the scene you’re in, then it’s up to you to make the decisions and choices necessary to end up in a different scene.  But the time to make that change is NOW.

Choices matter.  They affect everyone around you.  Don’t kid yourself. You are choosing the scenes of your life tomorrow, with the actions you take today.

Chin up!

Some days it is hard to keep up a pretense.  Some days you get a burst of energy, and things look a wee bit brighter.  Hoping for a burst of something to smile at that will make it okay today.

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I leave it to the Universe to send a smile to us today.

Just breathing through the moments until the laughter sets in.

Hell Yeah! We’re Here!!!

Still here? Me, too!  Yay, us!

I have come to realize that there is more to Blue Moon Sisters than my original thought process allowed.  It has been frustrating to pretend that the waiting was good for me, but without it I may not have gotten the message of the rest of it.  I don’t mean to imply that I know exactly where I’m headed with it, but at least I know there is MORE.  More than I’d known and more than I’d dreamed.

I know everything works out.  It’s all good.  But being long on patience and short on action is a numbing cycle.  I’ve been kind of numb for a while, so perhaps that is why I didn’t notice it.  I think I’ve been treading water mentally and emotionally.  I’m still in the same spot, but I’m now tired of the same spot.  I’m tired of it, so I’m going to change it.  The pieces are falling into place. I’m glad they’ll be ready when I get the go ahead. It won’t be long now.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Blessings for your Monday.

Brrrr…..

cold

Cold hands, warm heart. Um… okay.  How about just plain cold.  Hard to judge if someone’s hands are cold because of the weather or WHETHER it’s a sure sign that they have a warm heart.  I think it’s easy to discern which type of heart someone has.  It’s by their actions.

What many people do not realize is that even if they don’t know it, oftentimes their cold hearts are a subconscious decision that they accidentally made.  Think about it… We all know someone who has had a hard life, and by many accounts should be a miserable, mean, cold-hearted person. Yet they are anything but cold. They are warm and loving and fun and happy.  It’s because they realize the value of a lifetime. They understand that even if this is not the ideal life, it’s the only life they are going to get so they might as well LIVE and enjoy the life they have been given.  These people are held in such high esteem by me personally. I have been blessed many times over in life, yet still find myself sidetracked by negativity of my own mind.  I focus on the bad drive to work. I am annoyed by the headlines. I am saddened by humanity’s treatment of one another, and the notion that any of us are better than, or hold more value than someone else.  Ewww…  see?  I already am thinking how sucky that is.  But wait….

I am blessed. Yes, it’s a cold world.  Yes, people will hurt you. Yes, shit happens that you can’t change.  And you know what?  That’s okay. That is how life works.  Your job is to learn to be welcoming and warm to those you meet.  We need to learn to forgive those who hurt us, because they are just lashing out because THEY have been hurt.  That shit that just happened to hurt you?  Learn the lesson it brought you – even if you don’t like it.  That would be a waste of an opportunity.  We learn everyday.  Good, bad or ugly. We all learn and hopefully, we let it shape us in good ways.  With empathy and not apathy.  With hope and not despair. With right thinking rather than stinkin’ thinkin’ – which is all too easy to do.

I am blessed today by your presence.  I thank those who are on this journey with me.  I am grateful for the cold outside, because it gives me the opportunity to be warm on the outside to people who need warmth.  And I am so grateful for the warm people who love me.

Worth the wait…

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Happy first day of “back to work: the January edition” and all that entails.  I am looking forward to this year. Why? Well, why not?  I’m here. Might as well make the best of it.

Did you get that?  Make the BEST of it?  I think that’s my plan. I won’t be striving for perfectionism, but I will do my best to be on my game and keep up.  Please join me in the annual crossing of the fingers.

So this past Saturday, January 3, I met my nephew, Alex, for the first time.  My youngest sister gave birth to him at 18, and a wonderful family in New York became his parents. I must admit that I was apprehensive about this meeting.  I mean, what if he didn’t like me?  Well, actually, I’m not sure he felt one way or the other about me, but it was a great day for me.  And seriously, a real gift.

The best thing about the gift of Alex was the fact that he was born –  and also that he is a handsome, intelligent, and thoughtful man. We spent a few hours together, getting acquainted. His parents are truly lovely people and I liked them immensely! In my heart I honestly believe that they were the perfect parents for Alex, and they have been there for him through ups and downs, good and bad, challenges and triumphs.

I just thought to say that I am proud of Alex. And then I thought that really I should be proud of his parents, because they are the ones that did the real work of raising him. And then I realized that the person of whom I am most proud, is my sister.  She made a very grown up decision when she chose to give him life. It was a great decision. He’s a great kid.

I hope to be able to stay in contact with Alex, though much of that will be up to him.  I am all too happy to do my part. It was worth the wait of so many years to finally know him. It’s one of those things where you don’t know how much something means until years later.

The decisions we make today will have repercussions for many years to come. The one thing I do believe, is that good things DO come to those who wait. Even though I am not good at the waiting, time flies by and the future will be here before we know it. I am prepared to wait for the good, which always seems to come when the time is right.

Happy New Year!!! Happy New You!!! (I love commercials… she said, unconvincingly)

lender-decisions

So we made it through 2014… well I did.  We lost some people we love this year. That’s never easy. But that’s how life goes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

I have a decision to make with this whole Blue Moon Sisters thing.  I need to find a new host for the actual page. I need to purchase the equivalent of “Websites for Dummies” and actually make a webpage/website.  If I am going to continue on this whole idea, I am going to need to see what that actually looks like.

While this is true, I have realized and I understand that I do not have to make a decision right this second.  That gives me some time to breathe. This is different than actual procrastination. Sometimes things need to settle down and the little details will work themselves out.  This decision WILL be made, when the time comes. I’ve got a couple of weeks before I’m out of time. In my heart I know that, before that time arrives, I will know what my plan is. I will know what I need to do, how I need to do it, and where I feel it needs to go.

Sometimes it’s okay to wait to decide.

Happy 2015, friends! Make it a great year!