Brrrr…..

cold

Cold hands, warm heart. Um… okay.  How about just plain cold.  Hard to judge if someone’s hands are cold because of the weather or WHETHER it’s a sure sign that they have a warm heart.  I think it’s easy to discern which type of heart someone has.  It’s by their actions.

What many people do not realize is that even if they don’t know it, oftentimes their cold hearts are a subconscious decision that they accidentally made.  Think about it… We all know someone who has had a hard life, and by many accounts should be a miserable, mean, cold-hearted person. Yet they are anything but cold. They are warm and loving and fun and happy.  It’s because they realize the value of a lifetime. They understand that even if this is not the ideal life, it’s the only life they are going to get so they might as well LIVE and enjoy the life they have been given.  These people are held in such high esteem by me personally. I have been blessed many times over in life, yet still find myself sidetracked by negativity of my own mind.  I focus on the bad drive to work. I am annoyed by the headlines. I am saddened by humanity’s treatment of one another, and the notion that any of us are better than, or hold more value than someone else.  Ewww…  see?  I already am thinking how sucky that is.  But wait….

I am blessed. Yes, it’s a cold world.  Yes, people will hurt you. Yes, shit happens that you can’t change.  And you know what?  That’s okay. That is how life works.  Your job is to learn to be welcoming and warm to those you meet.  We need to learn to forgive those who hurt us, because they are just lashing out because THEY have been hurt.  That shit that just happened to hurt you?  Learn the lesson it brought you – even if you don’t like it.  That would be a waste of an opportunity.  We learn everyday.  Good, bad or ugly. We all learn and hopefully, we let it shape us in good ways.  With empathy and not apathy.  With hope and not despair. With right thinking rather than stinkin’ thinkin’ – which is all too easy to do.

I am blessed today by your presence.  I thank those who are on this journey with me.  I am grateful for the cold outside, because it gives me the opportunity to be warm on the outside to people who need warmth.  And I am so grateful for the warm people who love me.

Worth the wait…

opening-gift-copy-2

Happy first day of “back to work: the January edition” and all that entails.  I am looking forward to this year. Why? Well, why not?  I’m here. Might as well make the best of it.

Did you get that?  Make the BEST of it?  I think that’s my plan. I won’t be striving for perfectionism, but I will do my best to be on my game and keep up.  Please join me in the annual crossing of the fingers.

So this past Saturday, January 3, I met my nephew, Alex, for the first time.  My youngest sister gave birth to him at 18, and a wonderful family in New York became his parents. I must admit that I was apprehensive about this meeting.  I mean, what if he didn’t like me?  Well, actually, I’m not sure he felt one way or the other about me, but it was a great day for me.  And seriously, a real gift.

The best thing about the gift of Alex was the fact that he was born –  and also that he is a handsome, intelligent, and thoughtful man. We spent a few hours together, getting acquainted. His parents are truly lovely people and I liked them immensely! In my heart I honestly believe that they were the perfect parents for Alex, and they have been there for him through ups and downs, good and bad, challenges and triumphs.

I just thought to say that I am proud of Alex. And then I thought that really I should be proud of his parents, because they are the ones that did the real work of raising him. And then I realized that the person of whom I am most proud, is my sister.  She made a very grown up decision when she chose to give him life. It was a great decision. He’s a great kid.

I hope to be able to stay in contact with Alex, though much of that will be up to him.  I am all too happy to do my part. It was worth the wait of so many years to finally know him. It’s one of those things where you don’t know how much something means until years later.

The decisions we make today will have repercussions for many years to come. The one thing I do believe, is that good things DO come to those who wait. Even though I am not good at the waiting, time flies by and the future will be here before we know it. I am prepared to wait for the good, which always seems to come when the time is right.

Happy New Year!!! Happy New You!!! (I love commercials… she said, unconvincingly)

lender-decisions

So we made it through 2014… well I did.  We lost some people we love this year. That’s never easy. But that’s how life goes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

I have a decision to make with this whole Blue Moon Sisters thing.  I need to find a new host for the actual page. I need to purchase the equivalent of “Websites for Dummies” and actually make a webpage/website.  If I am going to continue on this whole idea, I am going to need to see what that actually looks like.

While this is true, I have realized and I understand that I do not have to make a decision right this second.  That gives me some time to breathe. This is different than actual procrastination. Sometimes things need to settle down and the little details will work themselves out.  This decision WILL be made, when the time comes. I’ve got a couple of weeks before I’m out of time. In my heart I know that, before that time arrives, I will know what my plan is. I will know what I need to do, how I need to do it, and where I feel it needs to go.

Sometimes it’s okay to wait to decide.

Happy 2015, friends! Make it a great year!

Winter’s Here!!!

topart.snowflake.Flickr.photobyandygee1

We got the first few flakes of snow for this winter. It was beautiful, I’m sure… if you were not in the car.  Overall not terrible, but people just lose their minds when the weather changes.  Just crazy.

I was glad to see it sticking. Even if only for a few hours, that small smattering of snow signals the change of seasons, and the turning of the wheel of the year. It’s a time to reflect. To hunker down, hibernate. Settle in for the winter. Riiiiiiight….

I believe we are supposed to do just that – settle in, reflect, and wait until spring comes again.  So far this fall we have had four birthdays, gotten lined up for swimming for the high school for our final year, the same with dancing at the high school, college midterms, repaired or replaced appliances or systems in the house, began decorating for Thanksgiving, which is next week.  Then are swim meets, driving to Florida for Christmas – taking the dog, and heading back before the new year. I’m tired just reading it back…

But it will be a grand time of family and friends, feasting and celebrating, love and laughter. By the time spring comes, we’ll be ready to step outside.

It helps to try to get outside any time you can during the winter. The rays of the sun still help to build Vitamin D and perhaps boost the spirits of we who suffer from SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. I recommend the spice turmeric, and if you can find it combined with black pepper, all the better! Airborne, Immune C, teas and lozenges, should all be on hand. Take care of yourself this winter.  Stay warm. Enjoy the time with those you love.

~ Peace

It’s A Wonderful Life

breathe

Wow. I am tired. I wish this ride would stop. I really want off…

I look around and see what is going on, and I just want to bury my head in the sand.  All angles… It’s everywhere!  Can’t seem to catch a break.

I remember the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, and realize that “this too shall pass” but there is no time table in sight.  I guess we each start over daily.  I would just like to make a better start.  I know it’s all good.  I’m just waiting to be able to see it. The good, that is.

I like to think they wouldn’t be better off without me, but proving it to them is a one time thing.  I’m not ready for that….  But we don’t always get to choose…

Happy Halloween!!!

happy-halloween-images-4

I love Halloween!!  It has been a favorite since I was a child.  You see, my birthday is two days after.  I didn’t always get a “birthday” but I did get Halloween.  We would climb into the back of the pick up and my dad would drive us through the countryside, stopping at houses along the way.  I remember my hair flying in the wind, and how soft it was after the ride – completely windblown and tangled, but soft as a new kitten’s fur.

It wasn’t about the candy.  It was about the event.  The dressing up. The break from the norm.  I was always a gypsy.  It’s an easy costume. A scarf. Some bracelets. A long skirt. I loved it!

I miss it. Those times when all was right with the world.  Nothing to do but be a kid.  I didn’t have a lot of days like those.  I felt like I never had a childhood. That I was always a grown up.  In my early 20’s I celebrated being a kid.  I did what I wanted and no one could stop me.  The. Best.

And now here I am, a grown up.  Still a gypsy.  Still doing what I want… kinda. No one can stop me… sorta.  No one but me.  Life is too short to not play dress up, and fly around the countryside, laughing, and relishing in the freedom of wind in my hair.  Hmmm.. where’d I put that broom?

…and the hits just keep coming… Yes. It’s June.

Image

cha·os

ˈkāˌäs/

noun

noun: chaos; plural noun: chaoses

  1. complete disorder and confusion.

“snow caused chaos in the region”

synonyms: disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom; More

muddle, mess, shambles, free-for-all;

anarchy, lawlessness, entropy;

informalhullabaloo, hoopla, train wreck, all hell broken loose

“police were called in to quell the chaos”

antonyms: order

o    Physics: behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.

o    the formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe.

o    Greek Mythology: the first created being, from which came the primeval deities Gaia, Tartarus, Erebus, and Nyx.

noun: Chaos

Origin: late 15th century (denoting a gaping void or chasm, later formless primordial matter): via French and Latin from Greek khaos ‘vast chasm, void.’

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If I were near a giant explosion I would hope to be able to duck into a doorway for some level of protection.  There is nothing, so much as chaos, going on for a few of us.  I am actually staggered at the level of “upheavalness” that is reigning supreme. I keep watching burning debris waft by from my doorway, wondering, thinking a zillion things. Like: there will be a lot of ambulances and firetrucks soon. What happened? Was this an accident? Is there still cell phone service? I don’t think I’ll make that meeting at noon. 

There are no accidents.  Sometimes life has a way of catapulting us right into the middle of where we belong.  Certainly a bloody violent way of maneuvering, but what do we want? Coddling or results?  Well, heck yes, we all say “results” but the devil is in the details.  However, happiness lives on the other side of that. We are not “stand on the sidelines” kind of gals.  We got the guts to make it through this.  Yet, our path lies through the fire.  On the other side of the chaos. And we’re going to go through it – you KNOW we are.  So, in the spirit of the Blue Moon Sisters mindset: Here, take my arm. Ready?  If you see flames erupting from my person, please put them out and I will do the same for you.  Deal?

This is a “no fear” operation.  You do what you MUST.  But that is the beauty of chaos.  No matter what it looks like to you and me, the result is perfection.  …You don’t see that?  Oh.  Well. Give it some time because chaos is a time-taker.  When the dust settles, you’ll see where you are, how far you’ve come, and what it took for you to get there.  Worth it?  Oh.  Hell yeah…

Now. Take my hand. Ready? No, no… don’t close your eyes. You’re gonna wanna see this so you can remember it correctly when you tell the story of “when.”  Damn the torpedoes.  Let’s go.