Keep Your Eyes on the Road

Follow-Your-Heart-Sign

This morning as I drove to work, I saw a sign on a pasture fence that read, “Now Boarding, Equestrian Facility” or something like that. I drive by it every day. There are horses in the pasture, with barn type buildings in the distance. It’s beautiful and peaceful.

As I glanced over, I thought to myself, “I can’t wait until I can afford to have horses.” And as I glanced back at the road, I heard the sound of my tires hitting the grids from the road’s edge notifying me that I was drifting left, onto the shoulder. I quickly corrected, and thought to myself, “Stay on the road.” And it seemed that was the answer to my mental thought. Someday I’ll have horses. Yeah… okay… just stay on the road you’re on. No time for horses.

I firmly believe that one day my road will lead to a horse or a horse farm, where a few horses can graze on green grass, safe from slaughter.  Even if they are just pasture ornaments – that’s fine with me. I do believe that will happen – but I do not see a means to that end right now. My hands are full, and kind of bound by the present moment. I can only keep doing what I am doing. Continuing on the road I’m on. My chosen path. The one that leads to me.

I can’t wait until I can afford to have horses. But it looks like wait, I will.

Advertisements

Worth the wait…

opening-gift-copy-2

Happy first day of “back to work: the January edition” and all that entails.  I am looking forward to this year. Why? Well, why not?  I’m here. Might as well make the best of it.

Did you get that?  Make the BEST of it?  I think that’s my plan. I won’t be striving for perfectionism, but I will do my best to be on my game and keep up.  Please join me in the annual crossing of the fingers.

So this past Saturday, January 3, I met my nephew, Alex, for the first time.  My youngest sister gave birth to him at 18, and a wonderful family in New York became his parents. I must admit that I was apprehensive about this meeting.  I mean, what if he didn’t like me?  Well, actually, I’m not sure he felt one way or the other about me, but it was a great day for me.  And seriously, a real gift.

The best thing about the gift of Alex was the fact that he was born –  and also that he is a handsome, intelligent, and thoughtful man. We spent a few hours together, getting acquainted. His parents are truly lovely people and I liked them immensely! In my heart I honestly believe that they were the perfect parents for Alex, and they have been there for him through ups and downs, good and bad, challenges and triumphs.

I just thought to say that I am proud of Alex. And then I thought that really I should be proud of his parents, because they are the ones that did the real work of raising him. And then I realized that the person of whom I am most proud, is my sister.  She made a very grown up decision when she chose to give him life. It was a great decision. He’s a great kid.

I hope to be able to stay in contact with Alex, though much of that will be up to him.  I am all too happy to do my part. It was worth the wait of so many years to finally know him. It’s one of those things where you don’t know how much something means until years later.

The decisions we make today will have repercussions for many years to come. The one thing I do believe, is that good things DO come to those who wait. Even though I am not good at the waiting, time flies by and the future will be here before we know it. I am prepared to wait for the good, which always seems to come when the time is right.

Good Morning!

Image

It’s almost time for me to return home from my visit to my sister’s.  I am so glad I could be here with her.  I must admit, it has been an eye opener for me.  It’s about as different from my life as it gets.  My life is all fast-paced and go go go.  We were going nonstop, but since Saturday things have slowed a bit.  Now comes the hard part.. Moving forward.  That seems to be a “learn as you go” event.  Our lives are forever changed.

I have been a bit lost, as I didn’t know my nephew as well as I knew his brothers and sisters.  This whole time I have been thinking of what I missed.  But now I understand that if I had known him better, my grief would be just that much harder to bear.  Is that a selfish thought?  I can’t tell you the answer to that, but I do know it’s the truth.  I do know that one of my favorite all-time sayings sums it up well.  I leave you with this today….

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”
Flavia Weedn