Once upon a time, there was a crazy girl…

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…and she found herself in the middle of a swirl of unexpected things.  She tried to muddle through. She kept moving her feet, and the rest of her, but she seemed to be getting nowhere.  Since this wasn’t working, she decided to stop moving her feet, and the rest of her, and just BE.

Whatever would come, would come.  And she would deal with it then.  In the meantime, she decided to back away slowly and keep her head down.  Self preservation is important. Serenity is important. Mindfulness is important.  So she decided to move slowly and wait for everything to fall into place… like it always does. She was so grateful she remembered that part.

And then she felt better.

The Beginning

Hell Yeah! We’re Here!!!

Still here? Me, too!  Yay, us!

I have come to realize that there is more to Blue Moon Sisters than my original thought process allowed.  It has been frustrating to pretend that the waiting was good for me, but without it I may not have gotten the message of the rest of it.  I don’t mean to imply that I know exactly where I’m headed with it, but at least I know there is MORE.  More than I’d known and more than I’d dreamed.

I know everything works out.  It’s all good.  But being long on patience and short on action is a numbing cycle.  I’ve been kind of numb for a while, so perhaps that is why I didn’t notice it.  I think I’ve been treading water mentally and emotionally.  I’m still in the same spot, but I’m now tired of the same spot.  I’m tired of it, so I’m going to change it.  The pieces are falling into place. I’m glad they’ll be ready when I get the go ahead. It won’t be long now.

I hope everyone had a great weekend! Blessings for your Monday.

Brrrr…..

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Cold hands, warm heart. Um… okay.  How about just plain cold.  Hard to judge if someone’s hands are cold because of the weather or WHETHER it’s a sure sign that they have a warm heart.  I think it’s easy to discern which type of heart someone has.  It’s by their actions.

What many people do not realize is that even if they don’t know it, oftentimes their cold hearts are a subconscious decision that they accidentally made.  Think about it… We all know someone who has had a hard life, and by many accounts should be a miserable, mean, cold-hearted person. Yet they are anything but cold. They are warm and loving and fun and happy.  It’s because they realize the value of a lifetime. They understand that even if this is not the ideal life, it’s the only life they are going to get so they might as well LIVE and enjoy the life they have been given.  These people are held in such high esteem by me personally. I have been blessed many times over in life, yet still find myself sidetracked by negativity of my own mind.  I focus on the bad drive to work. I am annoyed by the headlines. I am saddened by humanity’s treatment of one another, and the notion that any of us are better than, or hold more value than someone else.  Ewww…  see?  I already am thinking how sucky that is.  But wait….

I am blessed. Yes, it’s a cold world.  Yes, people will hurt you. Yes, shit happens that you can’t change.  And you know what?  That’s okay. That is how life works.  Your job is to learn to be welcoming and warm to those you meet.  We need to learn to forgive those who hurt us, because they are just lashing out because THEY have been hurt.  That shit that just happened to hurt you?  Learn the lesson it brought you – even if you don’t like it.  That would be a waste of an opportunity.  We learn everyday.  Good, bad or ugly. We all learn and hopefully, we let it shape us in good ways.  With empathy and not apathy.  With hope and not despair. With right thinking rather than stinkin’ thinkin’ – which is all too easy to do.

I am blessed today by your presence.  I thank those who are on this journey with me.  I am grateful for the cold outside, because it gives me the opportunity to be warm on the outside to people who need warmth.  And I am so grateful for the warm people who love me.

Worth the wait…

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Happy first day of “back to work: the January edition” and all that entails.  I am looking forward to this year. Why? Well, why not?  I’m here. Might as well make the best of it.

Did you get that?  Make the BEST of it?  I think that’s my plan. I won’t be striving for perfectionism, but I will do my best to be on my game and keep up.  Please join me in the annual crossing of the fingers.

So this past Saturday, January 3, I met my nephew, Alex, for the first time.  My youngest sister gave birth to him at 18, and a wonderful family in New York became his parents. I must admit that I was apprehensive about this meeting.  I mean, what if he didn’t like me?  Well, actually, I’m not sure he felt one way or the other about me, but it was a great day for me.  And seriously, a real gift.

The best thing about the gift of Alex was the fact that he was born –  and also that he is a handsome, intelligent, and thoughtful man. We spent a few hours together, getting acquainted. His parents are truly lovely people and I liked them immensely! In my heart I honestly believe that they were the perfect parents for Alex, and they have been there for him through ups and downs, good and bad, challenges and triumphs.

I just thought to say that I am proud of Alex. And then I thought that really I should be proud of his parents, because they are the ones that did the real work of raising him. And then I realized that the person of whom I am most proud, is my sister.  She made a very grown up decision when she chose to give him life. It was a great decision. He’s a great kid.

I hope to be able to stay in contact with Alex, though much of that will be up to him.  I am all too happy to do my part. It was worth the wait of so many years to finally know him. It’s one of those things where you don’t know how much something means until years later.

The decisions we make today will have repercussions for many years to come. The one thing I do believe, is that good things DO come to those who wait. Even though I am not good at the waiting, time flies by and the future will be here before we know it. I am prepared to wait for the good, which always seems to come when the time is right.

…and the hits just keep coming… Yes. It’s June.

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cha·os

ˈkāˌäs/

noun

noun: chaos; plural noun: chaoses

  1. complete disorder and confusion.

“snow caused chaos in the region”

synonyms: disorder, disarray, disorganization, confusion, mayhem, bedlam, pandemonium, havoc, turmoil, tumult, commotion, disruption, upheaval, uproar, maelstrom; More

muddle, mess, shambles, free-for-all;

anarchy, lawlessness, entropy;

informalhullabaloo, hoopla, train wreck, all hell broken loose

“police were called in to quell the chaos”

antonyms: order

o    Physics: behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.

o    the formless matter supposed to have existed before the creation of the universe.

o    Greek Mythology: the first created being, from which came the primeval deities Gaia, Tartarus, Erebus, and Nyx.

noun: Chaos

Origin: late 15th century (denoting a gaping void or chasm, later formless primordial matter): via French and Latin from Greek khaos ‘vast chasm, void.’

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If I were near a giant explosion I would hope to be able to duck into a doorway for some level of protection.  There is nothing, so much as chaos, going on for a few of us.  I am actually staggered at the level of “upheavalness” that is reigning supreme. I keep watching burning debris waft by from my doorway, wondering, thinking a zillion things. Like: there will be a lot of ambulances and firetrucks soon. What happened? Was this an accident? Is there still cell phone service? I don’t think I’ll make that meeting at noon. 

There are no accidents.  Sometimes life has a way of catapulting us right into the middle of where we belong.  Certainly a bloody violent way of maneuvering, but what do we want? Coddling or results?  Well, heck yes, we all say “results” but the devil is in the details.  However, happiness lives on the other side of that. We are not “stand on the sidelines” kind of gals.  We got the guts to make it through this.  Yet, our path lies through the fire.  On the other side of the chaos. And we’re going to go through it – you KNOW we are.  So, in the spirit of the Blue Moon Sisters mindset: Here, take my arm. Ready?  If you see flames erupting from my person, please put them out and I will do the same for you.  Deal?

This is a “no fear” operation.  You do what you MUST.  But that is the beauty of chaos.  No matter what it looks like to you and me, the result is perfection.  …You don’t see that?  Oh.  Well. Give it some time because chaos is a time-taker.  When the dust settles, you’ll see where you are, how far you’ve come, and what it took for you to get there.  Worth it?  Oh.  Hell yeah…

Now. Take my hand. Ready? No, no… don’t close your eyes. You’re gonna wanna see this so you can remember it correctly when you tell the story of “when.”  Damn the torpedoes.  Let’s go.

Just when you think things couldn’t get better…

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Life is a cycle.  Life is a circle.  You just get settled in good and  take a deep breath and sigh at the wonder of how perfect it is and …BAM.  Life throws you a curve ball, just to keep things interesting.  Thank you, Life.  You ROCK!

So my wonderful hubby and I had a disagreement last night.  It got ugly.  And of course, I’m all “Hold the phone!  Aren’t we deliriously happy here?!”  …i says in my head.  On the OUTSIDE of my head there was a LOT of noise.  Me no likey.

I decided to back off because NOTHING is worth such a stupid argument.  I was not very happy, but I kept my mouth shut (yes – it happens) and went about my business.  “My business” being picking up the house a little, vacuuming, unloading and reloading the dishwasher.  …blah blah blah

I have a cousin who SWEARS BY “when you’re angry, clean something” and I must say, it is a FABULOUS strategy!  I could have done much more – because there is never a lack of things that need doing at our house – but I wanted to get in bed a little earlier to see if it helped me get up at 5:00 a.m.  (I”m showered and at my desk by 7:00 – I call that a success!)

It can be difficult to disengage from an emotional catastrophe.  I have learned that the best thing I can do is let it go.  I have worked on this for many, many moons.  Season after season after season.  I guess you could say I’m a seasoned veteran.. har har har… I jest – but it’s true.  If, after 22 years I have not figured out how all this works and when to lay low, well… then that would make me as dumb as some say we blonds are.  I’m a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.  I know – I’ve used this phrase before.  But hey, truth is truth.  Slow on the uptake?  Yeah, maybe sometimes.  Doesn’t change the fact that you need to pay attention to your life and see what the patterns are.  The pattern of the seasons are quite evident if we are paying attention.  The trees are the big indicator with their budding leaves, beautiful blossoms, gorgeous greenery, stunning color changes, dropping leaves, and bare branches.  We know those by heart.  Your life has patterns as well.  LOOK FOR THEM.  LOOK AT THEM.  PAY ATTENTION.  BECAUSE BAM!  Sh*t happens! When you learn to see the patterns, you learn how best to act in response to them.  Notice:  ACT.  Not REACT.  Acting is a conscious decision, a choice of behavior.  Reacting is not.  Reacting never makes me feel better.  If I can remember that, the outcome might not be so bad.

The situation is not resolved.  I am planning to remedy that asap.  Perhaps a different approach.  All the same, I win because I recognized the pattern and acted accordingly.  No hard feelings.  It’s all good.

Have a great Thursday!  ❤

 

[image found here:  http://bamfitnesscoaching.com/%5D

Friday already?

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Wow.. Friday already!  Tons still to do at work and at home but that’s fine with me.  I do my best work under pressure.  Not sure why – it just IS.  I do not yet care to give up my title of reigning Queen of Procrastination.  I yam what I yam.  It may not always be fun but you can’t beat the adrenaline rush!

Yes – I mock and jest.  It’s just my way.  If you can’t beat’em – LAUGH AT ‘EM!  As long as you are aware that on many occasions you will be laughing at yourself.  And if you can’t laugh at yourself, WHO CAN?  Yes, of course I know the answer is everyone but that’s not the point.  What is the point?  HOW SHOULD I KNOW?  I’m just writing a blog!

I am grateful for those of you who read these little scraps of wording I throw online.  Sometimes I even read them myself. I KNOW RIGHT?  Actually today I am also grateful that I have kept this blog going, though sometimes sporadically, through the rocky times of the past few months. Truly not sure how I did it.  Surely I did take some time off to lick my wounds, but I’m back in full force so buckle your seat belts.  If you feel like it, peruse some of the past posts here.  There are some good ones.  Some ain’t so grand but we’ll keep that between us, deal?

Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND!  I know I will.  Thanks again for your presence here.  You guys are da bomb.  (I always wanted to say that..lol)  Happy Friday already!

xoxo, ~ D

Image found here:

http://www.peoplepets.com/people/pets/article/0,,20536757,00.html