Once upon a time, there was a crazy girl…

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…and she found herself in the middle of a swirl of unexpected things.  She tried to muddle through. She kept moving her feet, and the rest of her, but she seemed to be getting nowhere.  Since this wasn’t working, she decided to stop moving her feet, and the rest of her, and just BE.

Whatever would come, would come.  And she would deal with it then.  In the meantime, she decided to back away slowly and keep her head down.  Self preservation is important. Serenity is important. Mindfulness is important.  So she decided to move slowly and wait for everything to fall into place… like it always does. She was so grateful she remembered that part.

And then she felt better.

The Beginning

Brrrr…..

cold

Cold hands, warm heart. Um… okay.  How about just plain cold.  Hard to judge if someone’s hands are cold because of the weather or WHETHER it’s a sure sign that they have a warm heart.  I think it’s easy to discern which type of heart someone has.  It’s by their actions.

What many people do not realize is that even if they don’t know it, oftentimes their cold hearts are a subconscious decision that they accidentally made.  Think about it… We all know someone who has had a hard life, and by many accounts should be a miserable, mean, cold-hearted person. Yet they are anything but cold. They are warm and loving and fun and happy.  It’s because they realize the value of a lifetime. They understand that even if this is not the ideal life, it’s the only life they are going to get so they might as well LIVE and enjoy the life they have been given.  These people are held in such high esteem by me personally. I have been blessed many times over in life, yet still find myself sidetracked by negativity of my own mind.  I focus on the bad drive to work. I am annoyed by the headlines. I am saddened by humanity’s treatment of one another, and the notion that any of us are better than, or hold more value than someone else.  Ewww…  see?  I already am thinking how sucky that is.  But wait….

I am blessed. Yes, it’s a cold world.  Yes, people will hurt you. Yes, shit happens that you can’t change.  And you know what?  That’s okay. That is how life works.  Your job is to learn to be welcoming and warm to those you meet.  We need to learn to forgive those who hurt us, because they are just lashing out because THEY have been hurt.  That shit that just happened to hurt you?  Learn the lesson it brought you – even if you don’t like it.  That would be a waste of an opportunity.  We learn everyday.  Good, bad or ugly. We all learn and hopefully, we let it shape us in good ways.  With empathy and not apathy.  With hope and not despair. With right thinking rather than stinkin’ thinkin’ – which is all too easy to do.

I am blessed today by your presence.  I thank those who are on this journey with me.  I am grateful for the cold outside, because it gives me the opportunity to be warm on the outside to people who need warmth.  And I am so grateful for the warm people who love me.

Worth the wait…

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Happy first day of “back to work: the January edition” and all that entails.  I am looking forward to this year. Why? Well, why not?  I’m here. Might as well make the best of it.

Did you get that?  Make the BEST of it?  I think that’s my plan. I won’t be striving for perfectionism, but I will do my best to be on my game and keep up.  Please join me in the annual crossing of the fingers.

So this past Saturday, January 3, I met my nephew, Alex, for the first time.  My youngest sister gave birth to him at 18, and a wonderful family in New York became his parents. I must admit that I was apprehensive about this meeting.  I mean, what if he didn’t like me?  Well, actually, I’m not sure he felt one way or the other about me, but it was a great day for me.  And seriously, a real gift.

The best thing about the gift of Alex was the fact that he was born –  and also that he is a handsome, intelligent, and thoughtful man. We spent a few hours together, getting acquainted. His parents are truly lovely people and I liked them immensely! In my heart I honestly believe that they were the perfect parents for Alex, and they have been there for him through ups and downs, good and bad, challenges and triumphs.

I just thought to say that I am proud of Alex. And then I thought that really I should be proud of his parents, because they are the ones that did the real work of raising him. And then I realized that the person of whom I am most proud, is my sister.  She made a very grown up decision when she chose to give him life. It was a great decision. He’s a great kid.

I hope to be able to stay in contact with Alex, though much of that will be up to him.  I am all too happy to do my part. It was worth the wait of so many years to finally know him. It’s one of those things where you don’t know how much something means until years later.

The decisions we make today will have repercussions for many years to come. The one thing I do believe, is that good things DO come to those who wait. Even though I am not good at the waiting, time flies by and the future will be here before we know it. I am prepared to wait for the good, which always seems to come when the time is right.

Happy New Year!!! Happy New You!!! (I love commercials… she said, unconvincingly)

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So we made it through 2014… well I did.  We lost some people we love this year. That’s never easy. But that’s how life goes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

I have a decision to make with this whole Blue Moon Sisters thing.  I need to find a new host for the actual page. I need to purchase the equivalent of “Websites for Dummies” and actually make a webpage/website.  If I am going to continue on this whole idea, I am going to need to see what that actually looks like.

While this is true, I have realized and I understand that I do not have to make a decision right this second.  That gives me some time to breathe. This is different than actual procrastination. Sometimes things need to settle down and the little details will work themselves out.  This decision WILL be made, when the time comes. I’ve got a couple of weeks before I’m out of time. In my heart I know that, before that time arrives, I will know what my plan is. I will know what I need to do, how I need to do it, and where I feel it needs to go.

Sometimes it’s okay to wait to decide.

Happy 2015, friends! Make it a great year!

Wisdom ~ Not for the Lily-Livered

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Wisdom is tricky.  It’s garnered from experience.  Failing and falling are excellent teachers.  You learn what works and what doesn’t.

Wisdom is also about serenity.  It’s about courage and acceptance.  It’s about understanding how life works.  It’s about changing or staying the same.

Wisdom knows that you can try too hard.  Wisdom knows if you must jump through one  hundred flaming hoops to make something happen, that’s life speaking to you of futility.  Wisdom understands timing.  Sometimes wisdom says, “wait” and other times wisdom says, “no.”  The most important thing to remember about wisdom is this: You have to listen for it.  THEN you have to follow what wisdom tells you.  If you miss these two steps, you might as well not speak of wisdom. You aren’t ready for wisdom.

Wisdom listens. Wisdom watches.  Wisdom learns. Wisdom understands.

Wisdom is the result of perseverance.  You pay for it in blood, sweat and tears.

Wisdom:  Well worth the price.  Not for the faint of heart. 

Acceptance

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So today we look at acceptance.  Acceptance says you’ll agree to take things as they are without trying to change them. In the Serenity Prayer, we accept the things we cannot change.  There are a lot of things you can’t change.  You accept them or reject them based on who you are, or on the situation.  Some of the most difficult things to accept as they are, are people.

You can’t change people.  They are in charge of their lives.  See them for what they are, for who they are, for how they are.  A friend passed on a lesson to me, that is another truth I accept.  It is this:  People are always showing us who they are.  We just don’t want to believe them.  That statement, my friends, is TRUTH.

There isn’t a lot that can’t be changed with the right set of variables.  Chronic illness, addictions, loss…  these are a few that you may not be able to change.  Your job is to accept them or don’t.  But understand you will not be able to change things that are directly attached to another person.  YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE.  Please note – there is NO COMMA before “people” in the previous sentence.  People can absolutely change but they have to want it. No one can do it for them.

Here is an example:  I used to be smart.  Now I’m nice.  Truth.  I used to be WAY smart.  Does that mean I’m not smart now?  …the jury’s still out…  BUT I had to realize that being happy to be me because I was smarter than you, didn’t make it okay for me to treat you as less than me.  If I have all these brains and decide that means I can treat you like “less” because you don’t have these brains…?  What the HELL does that say about me?  Not much nice.  If God gave me smarts, it wasn’t so that I could rub it in your face.  I know a lot of people who aren’t book-smart.  But they have other gifts you can’t buy or can’t learn.  I have accepted that while it’s great to be smart, it’s GREATER to appreciate others for their gifts.  Appreciating and celebrating the gifts of others is coming face to face with GRATITUDE.  Now THERE’S a powerful word…

Learn to accept what you cannot change.  If this means you walk away from it, then so be it.  You have the ability to choose what you can accept and what you can’t.  If you can accept things that you cannot change, it puts you a step ahead of the pack.  Don’t waste your finite energy on something you can’t accept that can’t be changed.  Acceptance is a strength. It renders you powerful and puts you in charge of what you CAN change.

Courage anyone?  Yes. Please.

photo from thecoffeeklatch.com