A couple of days ago I noticed an unusual bug on my driver’s side car window as I was getting in my car. He was kind of sleek and small, with a prominent stinger. “Cool bug” I thought to myself. I got in and backed down the driveway. It wasn’t until I turned onto the main road that I noticed it was still there, hanging on to the window. Even though I wasn’t yet up to speed, the wind was really beating up this bug. His wings, head, everything was getting battered. “Let go!” I said to the bug. It didn’t. “Hey, stupid bug! Let go! You’re going to rips your wings off!” Nope. I was trying to go slow but I had to go a reasonable speed for the road. Probably about 35 mph. I watched as, one leg at a time, the wind got the better of the “cool bug” and finally he disappeared into the breeze. Stupid bug.
And then I realized that I’m a stupid bug, too. I’m dealing with things that are beyond my control, at least as far as I’m willing to attempt to control them. And I’m sure that God has his hands cupped around his mouth calling down, “Let go, little one! Let go! I got this!” But no. I’m not letting go. I’m a rather tenacious bug. I sink my teeth into something, I don’t want to let go. I want to help. No really. I can help. Let me help. I can do it. No, I’m sure I can. (repeat).
As much as I hate to admit it, I’d rather have my limbs torn off than let go. Why? Because it’s what I know. It’s my instinct to hold on. I’ve lost things before. I don’t want to lose this. I. MUST. HOLD. ON.
I’ve got to let go. I KNOW it will be alright. I’ve lived the life of “let go” before. I liked it. Much more peaceful. It will work out better than I could have ever dreamed up on my own. I just have to sit back and watch it work ~ like magic, ~ because it will. I don’t want to let go. I want to fix it. But I will only make myself crazy in the meantime. Sometimes these things take time. Timing is everything. I’m afraid to let it slip away. I might not get a second chance. But that’s fear. Fear is not of God. I cannot operate based on fear because that doesn’t work. I have to operate from a place of love. I have to open my heart and let go of my fear.
Let go. Open my heart. Love. Watch for the miracle. Because no matter how it plays out, it is a miracle and it’s perfect. Sometimes it takes a while to see, but it’s true all the same.